Halloween is a true Marmite event, many people love the idea of putting together a fun costume, while some hate the holiday and pull a face when they spot the aisle of funny smelling masks and orange and black bunting in the supermarket.

I love Halloween. When the pumpkins come out I basically lose my shit.

I love everything about it, from the excitement of choosing a costume and putting it all together to even the colour schemes of black, purple and orange. It signifies Autumn and the impending Christmas season. It’s a time for nights in under a blanket, Sunday’s spent on the sofa watching films with no guilt about it being nice outside and warm drinks to enjoy before bed.

Autumn feels very British, as we wrap up in our new winter coats, eat huge roasts on a Sunday, drink even more tea than usual and awkwardly get together for events such as bonfire night or the Great British Bake Off final.

So today, I thought I’d put together a little list of the people you’re most likely to witness around Halloween. Don’t take it too personally if you relate to anything…

 

The Halloween enthusiast 

This is the weirdo who starts thinking about Halloween around June and as soon as they hear the Halloween stuff is out in shops mid-September they’re there ready to pick up the pumpkin shaped candle holders and the black and purple napkins. They ask everyone they know incessantly what they’re going to dress up as for Halloween and start buying bits for their own costume in the summer. They watch the Nightmare Before Christmas all year round and consider themselves an honourary Sanderson sister.

The mask wearer

The mask wearer is the person who turns up to the Halloween party in their normal clothes, then when you ask what they’ve come as pulls a crappy mask out of their jeans pocket. And this isn’t a new mask. This is the same mask they’ve been digging out of a bottom drawer somewhere for years and believes is an acceptable costume.

The ‘this is a money-spinner’ 

This guy hates Halloween simply because he believes it’s a money spinner. He also refuses to buy his girlfriend a card on Valentines, his nieces and nephews eggs at Easter and lies to his Mum when he says he donates to charity instead of buying Christmas cards. The anti-capitalist sneers at anyone who dares look like they’re having fun at any time of year but reserves his most scathing comments for October.

The over excitable Mum 

It’s the first time the kids have been dressed up in proper Halloween costumes and she’s about to take them out trick or treating. She’s so excited about the whole ordeal she posts 25 photos and 4 videos of her children just standing in their costumes. Later, she’ll put up a status complaining because little Matthew had to be taken to A&E because he ate so much sugar he got excited and ran full pelt into a window.

The ‘any excuse to get naked’ 

This person just loves a costume that allows them to reveal as much flesh as possible. Which is fine, except they decide to wear it to the work dress up day or at that Halloween party where your Mum is present. They believe a Red Riding Hood costume consists of a gingham dress that barely covers your arse cheeks and a tiny cape or find any excuse to don a mankini and tell everyone they’re Borat.

Which one are you?

Jade